We are hoping to help you have these conversations with your kids and students. These are meant to be “best practices” but every situation is different. Hopefully these thoughts can help you as you navigate tricky conversations at home.

God wants His people to live in relationship with one another. There are countless benefits to having good mentors, friends, and other relationships. The hard part is figuring out how to have those meaningful relationships. As parents, it can be hard to know when to step in and protect our kids vs. when to let them learn from their mistakes. Just like most other aspects of parenting, there is no perfect answer on how to help your kids be successful in their relationships. However, there are ways to empower your child(ren) to do relationships well. First, pray for their friendships and relationships. Pray for them in the womb, when they are in diapers, and then never stop! You might not “be what you eat.” But more often than not, we are who we spend time with. There is no greater prayer for your kids than for them to be surrounded by Godly peers and mentors. Second, be the example, in your own relationships. What kind of people do you surround yourself with? What friends to you have over to the house? These will help lay the foundation for how to help them through these key phases.

Elementary relationships

One of the greatest things you can do to ensure your child has good, Godly friendships is to teach them how to be that friend themselves. This will help them understand the kind of friends they should have. Use teachable moments to help instill these values! Use failure to help instill these values! Create open communication between your children at an early age and really listen. Ask them open ended questions rather than “yes or no” questions. Do your best to give the “why” behind the kind of people you want them to spend time with. If you are worried about who they’re developing close relationships with, invite the right kind of friends over to your house for dinner, or to the park, or on a Disney trip. This is the last stage of their lives where you will have significant control over who they spend their time with… Don’t waste it!!

Teenage Relationships

This is a time where their individuality is developed. That’s a good thing! They might not want to hear from Mom and Dad as much, but that doesn’t change the responsibility you have in their life. This is a time for you to help them figure things out themselves. Controlling their every move could inhibit their ability to self-correct or make good decisions on their own. Of course, if your child is putting themselves or others in a dangerous situation, you as the parent should take the measures required to protect and correct. However, now that your teenager is reaching the point where they’re able to go out more, set clear boundaries. Who can they be with? Where can they be? How late can they be out? Trust and communication are huge. Set the guardrails BEFORE the problems arise, not in response to the problem. As they begin to understand and live within the guardrails you’ve instilled in them, they will become more and more empowered to create and navigate healthy friendships and relationships. Our last advice would be to do everything possible to surround them with Godly mentors. That could be church leaders, older siblings, aunts/uncles, etc. During this season they might not listen to Mom and Dad’s advice, but they might just listen to Theirs. “What Godly adults are speaking life into my kids?”, might be the most important relationship question you can answer during this season of their lives.

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