We are hoping to help you have these conversations with your kids and students. These are meant to be “best practices” but every situation is different. Hopefully these thoughts can help you as you navigate tricky conversations at home.
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Don’t have your son/daughter sit down at the kitchen table to have these conversations. Find a way to catch them when their walls are down. Take them after school to get their favorite Starbucks drink, throw the football in the backyard, or go out for a special parent/child dinner.
Lean on other trusted adults in their lives to help echo these conversations. Small group leaders, teachers, coaches, older siblings, etc. Can all be valuable resources to help drive home these messages in their lives.
Body Image
From insecurities of being too big, too skinny, not having curves, having too many curves, not strong enough, and the constant comparison of how you should look. The National Institute of Health says that as of 2020 53% of American girls are “unhappy with their body” by the age of 13. That number increases to 78% by the time they reach 17.
How can parents respond?
How can we assure young men and women to build confidence that isn’t defined by the world? It’s easy to say “you’re made in God’s image!” or “Jesus made you perfect!” but that doesn’t automatically change the way a person feels. The root problem to body image is actually a crisis of identity. In a world that is ever changing, from trends, body styles, clothing, hair styles, they are being pulled to what looks best. So the real question should be, “is my child’s identity rooted in Jesus or something else?”
Represent your body image well!
Mom & Dad, they pay attention to you! Parents play a crucial role in helping their child build a healthy view of themselves, by the way you as a parent talk about yourself. The relationship you have with your own body will send messages to your child, as well as the relationship you have with Jesus. From a young age how do they hear you talking about your body/appearance? That could be the same lens they grow up to see their own body through. Encourage your child to understand that body comparison, any comparison, is the thief of joy and doesn’t have to dictate how they feel about themselves. Teach them to be see through the fake images on social media and ads that promote body ideals, and to challenge society’s narrow ideals of beauty. If your home is on a foundation of Christ, we can ALWAYS combat the lies of this world with the truth from God’s Word. The world will say, “your thighs are too big” “you’re not muscular like most men” or “no one wears that brand anymore” – but God’s Word states in the Psalms, “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise too because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Your eyes say my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before they came to be.” God planned out who you are before you ever came to be. You have the opportunity to teach your child that they don’t have to participate in the standards of this world, and if you actually believe that yourself, your kids just might too.
Highlight their beauty and strengths!
Lastly, celebrate your child’s positive attributes and behaviors. Show them that beauty doesn’t just lie on the outside but within their character. Shine a giant spotlight on the beauty that God created in them. It’s not about the goals scored. It’s not about the As on the test. It’s not about the outward beauty in the photo. It’s about the heart behind each of those. If you’re lucky, that beauty will outshine the darkness that the world pours over them. It’s okay and even good to acknowledge where we might be weak, but don’t let those weaknesses take root. The world will do enough talking about their weaknesses, you make sure they never forget the beauty that Jesus built in them.